


Same Mistakes

by Daisyith



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 20:28:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15251421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisyith/pseuds/Daisyith
Summary: Jenson had made mistakes in the past. He'd pushed Sebastian away, he'd been stupid. He just wished they could move on from that.





	Same Mistakes

Jenson curled his fists, fingernails digging into soft skin. He took a shaky breath. It had been a long time, he knew this moment had to come eventually. But still, it hit him, and it hit him hard. There had been rumours, whispers of something going on, but now, as he stared at his small phone screen, he knew it was true. With a heavy sigh, he ran his fingers through his messy hair. He had been stupid. Stupid to let him go, stupid to think he would never find anyone else. 

Jenson lifted the bottle to his fingers, the glass sticky with condensation. He let the amber liquid spill over his tongue and warm his throat. He longed to feel his soft hair tickling at his chin, to smell the sweet scent of his aftershave. But now, as he stared at the photo, he knew he would never get to have Sebastian in the same way again. And it was his own fault. He’d let Sebastian slip through his fingers and into the arms of Dan. He’d always liked the Australian, but now, as he glanced down at the ever-happy smile, all he could feel was resentment. He hoped Dan wouldn’t make the same mistakes he did…

He drank again, not caring as a couple of drops ran down his chin. He needed to feel numb, to forget it all. Even if were just for one night.  
\----   
Tired, Jenson slumped against the sofa, controller in hand. Since he’d left in the early hours of dawn, he’d been looking forward to watching mind-numbing television, thinking about nothing. As he scrolled through channel after channel, he could sense Sebastian’s frustration growing. He scrolled again, just to annoy. 

A shot of hot air spilled from Sebastian’s parted lips and before he could stop himself, he spat, “Fucking decide on a channel.” 

Jenson smirked, the more Seb complained, the less he wanted to settle on one programme. He began to flick back the other way. He enjoyed the way Sebastian’s lips fell into a pout, the annoyance evident on his face. 

“Just give it here.” He demanded, thrusting his hand towards Jenson.

Jenson shook his head, “Nuh uh, little Sebby…” He could feel the power rising in his chest, pleasure filling his body. He didn’t know why but he couldn’t stop.

“Stop calling me that!” Sebastian exclaimed, the nickname grinding at his nerves. It didn’t matter how many times he told Jenson, the Brit continued to call him that. 

“Calm down Sebby.” Jenson smirked.

With that, Sebastian stood up, “Fine. Watch it by yourself.” He said, throwing the cushion he’d been clutching to the floor. When Jenson was in one of his moods, there was no point even trying. The only problem was, they had been coming more and more frequently. Seb heaved himself up the stairs with a sigh and curled onto the bed. Jenson would come up, come back to him, eventually…  
\----  
With trembling fingers, Jenson aimed the button through the hole. Missing. He tried again, taking a deep breath to steady himself. His shirt was untucked, his hair un-styled, his tie around his neck. He looked a mess, and he knew it. Maybe this was a stupid idea, Jenson thought to himself, maybe he should just stay at home on the sofa. It would be a lot less stressful! But he thought about the others, everyone he hadn’t seen for a year. He couldn’t let them down. With a heavy sigh, Jenson ran his fingers through his hair. He could do it. It was just one evening.

By the time Jenson arrived, the dinner table was crowded. He’d left it late, worrying whether he should stay at home or not. Now he regretted it, wishing he was in the warm confines of his bedroom. The only seat remaining would leave Jenson seated between Fernando and Lewis. Opposite Sebastian. Typical. Jenson wished he’d already sunk a drink to steady his nerves. Forcing a smile, Jenson turned to greet his friends,  
“Jenson buddy, how are you?” Fernando asked, standing up and throwing his arms around Jenson, “Long time no see.”

Washed with guilt, Jenson tried to smile. He had hardly seen some of the drivers, some of his friends, over the last year. Scared of Sebastian’s presence, he had avoided race weekends and publicity stints. Until now. “Sorry mate. Life’s busy, you know how it is.” He mumbled apologetically.

Fernando leant close, “Or because we have a Sebastian.” He whispered cheekily, his voice only loud enough for Jenson to hear. 

Jenson felt himself stiffen, grow tense. With a forced chuckle, he turned to the others and greeted them. Left with only Sebastian, Jenson had no choice. It would have been rude, drawn attention to the situation. With a deep breath, he turned to Sebastian who smiled fondly,

“Jense.” 

The soft German lilt softened Jenson’s heart, removed the frustration bubbling inside. He wondered how Seb could act as though nothing had happened between the two, that Jenson was nothing but an old friend, “Seb.” He greeted, his voice warming at the sight of the blonde hair and blue eyes he’d loved so dearly. He missed Sebastian. Not just as a lover, but as a friend.

The two talked. And talked. They talked about everything and nothing, all at once. It had been just over a year since he’d last talked to Seb, they had a lot to catch up on. Jenson had thought it would be awkward, difficult to make conversation. But he was wrong. They quickly warmed to each other, forgetting the past and moving on.

As they talked, Jenson noticed the way Dan glanced to one side, looking at Sebastian with love in his eyes – a look he once shared with the German. He saw the way Sebastian slipped his hand beneath the table, resting it against Dan’s leg. He spotted the laughter shared between the two, the small looks and touches. When they thought no-one was watching, Sebastian had leant forwards and pressed his lips to Dan’s, a small kiss with so much meaning behind it. He saw the little things, the things missing from his own relationship with Seb. How he wished he could do things differently.

Jenson’s heart longed for Sebastian but he knew it was impossible. Sebastian was happy, happy without him. It was his own fault, he had pushed Sebastian away. But at least he could take solace in the fact Daniel wasn’t making the same mistakes…


End file.
